Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Death and Taxes

With a heavy heart I had to lay my grandmother to rest on today. She passed mid-day on March 2nd. This fall/winter season has been a rough one for my family. We laid my uncle to rest the week before Thanksgiving, now my grandmother and my other grandmother just entered hospice care. From my experience hospice care isn't a long road. Unfortunately, this is not going to be an uplifting post, but this blog is about my life and this is a big thing(s) that is happening currently in my life.

My mother's mother who passed last week suffered from chronic depression. Her doctors never really figured out the best mix of meds, which is heart wrenching to think about.  The only memories from my childhood are of her in almost a catatonic state, blinded by her sorrow.  She had such a hard life, which makes honoring her memory very difficult. I have had death in my life from such a young age with three schoolmates, two very close dying. One in elementary and the other in high school. Those deaths have really molded how I deal with crisis and death to this day. I am a "calls it like I sees it girl", which makes my grandmother's death so difficult.  I want to be authentic but at the same time I don't have very happy memories to share. It tears me up inside to say that aloud, however, it is the cold hard truth.  I guess my favorite memories are of meeting with my grandmother's brothers and talking about family. When my mother and I clean out my grandma's apartment 6 months ago, we found all of grandma's photo albums. That started, for me, the quest to know more about my genealogy. I have learned so many wonderful things I never knew. Then when I would visit grandma I could ask her more about them. Who so-in-so was and what their business was. Sometimes she would play along and sometimes she would get cranky and say "I thought I told you that already, aren't you writing this down? I'm old, I don't like to repeat myself" I always smile and chuckle to myself. She was an old kook!

Here are some old photos I found from her and my grandfather's wedding day. They are so wonderfully 50's I can barely contain myself. Please Excuse the numbers on the photos, these are their original proof. I haven't had time to edit them on photo shop yet.

I was given a dress of her's a couple of years ago. I decided to wear that dress to her funeral. It is made of 100% felt. It has pockets too! Everybody at the funeral just loved it. They all thought it was wonderful that I would honor her by wearing a terrific outfit. She was know to be a fashion plate back in there prime. This dress was also the insperation for one of my dresses for my fashion back in September. My grandmother liked my felt dress better and was flattered that I would make something inspired by something of hers, and to top it off she was able to see it. Her's is the green one and the one I made the black one.

I promise my next few blogs will be a little more upbeat. February was a rough month, but it is over and it is time for spring and a re-birth of all things living! Until then, I bid you au revoir.


  1. Her wedding dress is amaizing! Love those pockets on the green but the flowers on the black one stole my heart.

    Thinking of you and your family today dear friend. xo

  2. Lovely pictures, thanks for sharing and remember we just left behind the year of the tiger, a very difficult year. Now we have entered the year of the rabbit it is supposed to be a year of recovery from the difficult year we leave behind.

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